Talk to the Glove 'Cause the Dr. Aint Listening!

Introduction

HelloOOOOOOO. And welcome to Dr. Straaaaaaaangeglove's Strange tales from the world of straaaaaaange.

Today I have a strange tale to tell. But before I tell it, I just want to tell you a little something that happened to me.

The other day I got a phone call from my agent, and he was telling me: "Mr Strangeglove, your audience figures are slipping." To which I replied "That's no concern of mine. Can't they go on a diet? And by the way - its DOCTOR Strangeglove. I didn't go through six years of strange medical school to be called Mr." And he had no answer to that.

But anyway, I saw his point - he shot me with his harpoon gun. And then, later, when I regained consciousness, I decided to do something about it. So I hit myself on the head with a bat and went back to sleep again. Needless to say, the bat wasn't very pleased.

Anyway, I thought it would be best if I got a better job. I thought I'd be a banker or a politician, but felt that'd make me too unpopular, so I became a traffic warden instead. I held up the traffic for four hours and then had to put it down again as it was too heavy. I next decided to be a clairvoyant but could see no future in it. That's when I got my second phone call.

Ever.

Ring Ring...

That's how it went. "Hello" I said? "Who's calling please?" The conversation went on for a good fifteen minutes before I realised I hadn't actually picked up the receiver. My phone is a funny old thing. If you throw sticks for it, it chases after them. It's a golden receiver. Or at least it would be if it were gold. It's red, so the joke doesn't work.

Anyway - my phone call was from Steven Spielsnape - the infamous movie director, and he wanted me to be a star in his latest film. It was a documentary about the night sky.

So anyway - that's why I can't hang around long today - I've got to dash over to HollyWoo and collect my oscar. After all, its green and grouchy and was thrown in the bin cos nobody wanted it. So - no Strange story for today.

BOOOOOOOO....!

Oh - you want me to tell a strange story? Oh, but I've gotta go - (sighs)

Ok. Here's a straaaaaange story. I call it:

"Spooky Toaster"

Once upon a time there was a haunted toaster! Wooooooo!

And nobody knows what happened. The End.

This has been Straaaaange tales with me, Dr. Straaangeglove.

Till next time...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!